Growing up, I remember seeing magazine covers (galore!) offering tips on how to become the woman of someone else’s dreams – namely a man’s dreams. Nowadays, similar tips find their way on popular blogs for women, yet the underlying message remains: become an illusion of yourself to receive validation.
While these “tips” are aimed at women, young, impressionable girls see them as well; and without appropriate guidance, many might find themselves focusing on the wrong things and internalizing the wrong messages. Truthfully, the same can be said for women of a mature age as frustrations abound over becoming more desirable and attracting (or keeping) a man.
We live in a world that encourages women and girls to reach their full potential yet respond to the pressure to do more of this and become more of that despite the fact that whatever this or that is may not reflect what their true, authentic self wants or needs. For the record, becoming the woman of your own dreams is less exhausting and far more fulfilling than becoming the woman of someone else’s dreams.
Let’s have a quick chat about it…
“She remembered who she was and the game changed.”Lalah Delia
I asked my (female) Instagram followers to share how they are becoming the woman of their dreams. Here are a few responses:
- Not neglecting my own needs
- Letting go and not trying to control everything
- Being honest with what I really want in life
- Quiet time
- No longer believing lies about myself
What struck me most about these responses was the underlying desire for ease, rest, and truth. These women, of varying age and ethnicity, are becoming the woman of their own dreams by remembering themselves and “being” rather than “doing;” and that resonates with me. The woman of your dreams (and mine) is worthy. She is a part of you and she shouldn’t be neglected or ignored; and if she is, then it’s at your own expense.
So how are you becoming the woman of your dreams? Not sure? Never thought about it? No worries!
When I say “the woman of your dreams,” I’m referring to the best possible version of you that you imagine yourself to be in your own mind. This is not to be confused with other people’s expectations and/or illusions. So let’s define who she is…
Here are a few questions to get your wheels turning. Take 15-20 minutes and ask yourself:
- What’s her general demeanor?
- How does she feel on a daily basis?
- How does she carry herself?
- What is she doing? Who is she becoming?
- Where is she spending her time?
- Who (and what) is she surrounded by?
- What brings her joy? Fulfillment? Peace?
You can write down your responses on a sheet of paper or in a journal, then go a step further with a self portrait or vision board! Regardless of what you choose to do, keep your responses at the forefront of your mind and make the woman of your dreams a priority.
With that said, wherever there’s a disconnect between your dream and your reality, make corrections.
For example, if the woman of your dreams is at peace within her surroundings, then take inventory of the things (and people) that rob you of your peace and make tangible steps towards getting your peace back. Not weeks, months, or years from now – TODAY. If the woman of your dreams is wearing a huge smile more often than not, then make a conscious effort to do more of the things that fill you with joy and make you laugh. If the woman of your dreams is making better life choices than the woman you see looking back at you in the mirror, then get in touch with her and find out why. From there, take actionable steps to get her in alignment.
I think you get the picture.
Now go and become the woman of your dreams! You will be pleasantly surprised by how satisfied you are as she slowly, but surely, comes to life. You will also notice how your internal conflict over who to be or what to become dissipates. Believe me when I tell you that the woman of your dreams is truly a vision to behold…
If you have feedback or a “becoming” story to share, please comment below. And if you missed my last post on protecting your purity as a godly woman, click here.
Happy Women’s History Month!