If you could do it all over, what would you do differently? But before you answer that, did you catch yesterday’s advice for singles? If not, click here, then make your way back as I continue on with day three.
Now think about. If you could go back to a time in your single adult life, what would you do differently? How would you better cultivate the life you wanted? What habits would you develop? What traditions would you start? Would you invest more time in your community? Would you be more cautious with your spending? Hold those thoughts and read on.
“Build a life you’ll love at any stage!”
“Save! Save! Save!”
Of all the advice I received from my Instagram audience, these struck me the most.
When you wake up and realize that your life is happening now and that it can (and will) steer you toward multiple paths, you begin to look at time and space differently. You also begin to plan differently as you consider all the options available to you; and depending of the type of lifestyle you wish to have, you might begin to make those boring (yet essential) grown-up decisions more readily. At the same time, you might create more margin to truly enjoy yourself right where you are, with what you already have available.
I wish someone told me not to cling so tightly to the idea of marriage in my twenties. Subconsciously, I operated on a timeline where marriage was inevitable, and when it didn’t arrive, I felt stuck. In a practical sense, that looked like an inability to dream outside the box, feeling forgotten, and wondering if I somehow took a wrong turn.
To be clear, there is nothing wrong with planning for the next stage of life, but it becomes problematic when you start to feel like your life is passing you by in “the wait” or when everything worthwhile hinges on that next stage arriving. If you grew up in church, then you especially know what that means. (More on that in a later post.)
With appropriate guidance, my twenty-something self would have done more things that my future, unmarried self would thank me for. That might have looked like saving for a home, delaying graduate school, nurturing existing relationships, and establishing my own traditions. Sure, compared to many people, I managed to do a lot with what I had; but with a clearer head and more flexibility, I would have planned for a lifestyle and a future where I would feel content and cared for no matter what.
So on that note, do something today that your future self will thank you for.
I’ll see you back here tomorrow…